Paul Holmes Annual Review 2022/23

Just like Johnny Mercer, Paul is always keen to be held to account in his role as Eastleigh’s MP, so I must start this annual review with an apology for skipping his 2021/22 review. While I’m sure we’d all rather forget Truss-Kwarteng and their I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Budget, I still hope to fill in the gaps but there’s an election coming so it only seems fair to focus on Paul’s more recent work.

Rishi Sunak’s five Conservative party pledges

Paul’s most important contribution to politics is his line on the Tory whip’s spreadsheet and he has once again maintained his impeccable track record of voting exactly how he was told to. Even so, with Rishi “integrity, professionalism and accountability” Sunak in charge, toeing the party line was going to be easier than ever for Paul “integrity and honesty” Holmes this year.

1. Halve Inflation: understandably reluctant to take any responsibility for rising inflation (wars, climate change, trade barriers, special financial operations, etc.) but only too happy to take credit for falling inflation. Food inflation is still going to make cooking a meal for 31.17p pretty tricky though.

“To then say to them, actually we’re going to bring down inflation when they blame us for inflation rising in the first place, that makes it really difficult.”

Paul Holmes, PoliticsHome

Unfortunately Paul only blames Liz Truss for the dire position the party finds itself in, perhaps forgetting the country is also in a dire position thanks to him and his party putting Liz Truss in power in the first place. Party first as always.

2. Grow the Economy: we’re currently heading for a recession but with Paul’s plan to save our high street, and Sunak’s world-beating idea to use legislation to redefine reality, I’m sure we’ll be fine.

Btw. has anyone discovered what Paul’s plan actually is? Replacing the high street with vans maybe?

3. Reduce Debt: Paul is always keen to distract attention towards Eastleigh Councils debt, although strangely without any context whatsoever. Despite all Paul’s bluster, the Chartered Institute of Public Finance and Accountancy review of Eastleigh Borough Council’s debt found,

“The council appears to understand the challenges its indebtedness position creates and has clear strategies and mitigations for managing them. EBC’s investment portfolio has a clear strategic purpose.”

CIPFA report

Perhaps Jeremy Hunt could get some tips from Eastleigh Council on prudent financial management before spaffing any uncosted tax giveaways on Conservative donors in a desperate attempt to buy the next election.

4. Cut NHS Waiting Lists: well I think we can all agree that the 40 new hospitals and the government’s skillful handling of NHS strikes has made a huge difference to waiting lists.

5. Stop Small Boats: this is Paul’s chance to shine, having been Priti Patel’s PPS at the start of the government’s wildly successful campaign to stop anyone claiming asylum in the UK. Unfortunately it actually turns out to be the low point of his Westminster career.

On the anniversary of the 2019 general election, in the Safety of Rwanda (Asylum and Immigration) Bill debate where MPs were discussing legislation that seeks to alter reality in a desperate attempt to continue the Tory government’s ridiculous obsesion with deporting money to Rwanda, Paul interrupted the shadow home secretary to ask what Labour’s plan was.

Ian Dunt was impressed by this line of questioning…

“Cooper is asked what Labour’s plan is. Starmer was asked the same thing on Radio 4 this morning, persistently. There are many things to criticise Labour for, but this isn’t one of them and indeed the question betrays one of the intellectual failings of Westminster.”

Ian Dunt, Twitter/X, 12th December 2023

It gets worse. Having dutifully delivered the line he was very likely given, he seemed to get carried away and finished by claiming “everything that [the shadow home secretary] says she would do, this government is already doing” which is very clearly false.

There may be some unobservant back benchers who could have missed the obvious differences between Labour’s plans and the inhumane and ineffective pantomime that the Conservative government persists with but Paul was Patel’s PPS when she was home secretary, so I am quite sure he knows better.

As far as I can tell Paul has not apologised or corrected the record, so it’s difficult not to conclude that Paul is a liar.

King’s Speech

“It is a privilege to speak in this debate on the King’s Speech, because I genuinely believe that crime and sentencing is one of this Government’s key successes in the past 13 years.”

Paul Holmes, Violence Reduction, Policing and Criminal Justice debate

Wow, that’s some success.

According to Paul the government is reducing crime and recruiting more police officers. For some reason he doesn’t mention fraud or who cut the number of police officers in the first place. The 2019 Boris Johnson intake of New Conservative MPs is going to cast a long shadow over British politics.

For the gory details of the government’s “success”, I would definitely recommend reading the Secret Barrister’s, Stories of the Law and How It’s Broken.

Or for a tldr summary, have a look at Tanya-Jayne’s ex-Twitter thread instead.

Campaigns

One Horton Heath: Paul hasn’t given up on his failed attempts to stop the One Horton Heath project, finishing the year with another of his signature contributions to Prime Minister’s Questions complaining about Eastleigh Council’s house building.

“Eastleigh Borough Council recently refinanced its failed One Heaton Heath housing project to the tune of £148 million, with no houses built and interest payments of £386,000 per month.”

Paul Holmes, Prime Minister’s Questions, December 2023

At least he got the meeting he asked for this time, unlike the infrastructure necessary to build many more homes promised by Boris Johnson in response to Paul’s first Prime Minister’s Question. Boris Johnson is a liar though so that’s not too surprising.

Oddly Paul doesn’t seem to have anything to say about the nearby Uplands Development. It’s a stone’s throw from One Horton Heath and is also a failure by Paul’s definition, with £ millions spent on infrastructure (a road and a school) but no houses yet. Perhaps I just missed Paul’s campaign on this one, or maybe there’s some reason he doesn’t complain about it. 🤔

M27 resurfacing: if I had a VIP PPE contract for every time Paul announced the M27 was about to be resurfaced, I would be sitting on a yacht by now!

It was meant to be done at the same time as the smart motorway work, which would have obviously made far too much sense. The lying Prime Minister (Johnson, not Sunak) also announced the work was meant to have started already but here’s Paul delivering the same news in February, and again just recently in December.

Will the work start while Paul is still Eastleigh’s MP? He’s running out of time.

Southampton Airport expansion: Paul got a spectacular photo opportunity opening the airport extension this year. In a climate crisis. Excellent work.

To be fair to Paul, his contribution to the runway extension was likely very similar to his contribution to lowering inflation, or the M27 resurfacing for that matter.

Hamble Airfield Quarry: Paul’s latest campaign is absolutely perfect for any MP:— who would want a gravel pit next to their house? Or next to a school! Paul has firmly attached himself to local opposition to the quarry and even introduced his second (doomed) 10 minute rule bill in parliament!

I would agree that planning rules are inadequate for any applications with large health and environmental implications, as demonstrated by the Southampton airport extension. Paul’s Planning (Quarries) Bill isn’t going to fix that though.

Drake Hotline Bling Meme comparing noise and pollution from a quarry with noise and pollution from an airport extension

Even if the government supported Paul’s Planning (Quarries) Bill (lol), there’s unlikely to be time left for it to progress, so it’ll go the way of most 10 minute rule bills. My guess is that the quarry will eventually go ahead but that Paul will get through the next general election before the Conservative Hampshire County Council make a decision.

Sewage: just kidding, this is obviously not something Paul has waded in to!

Hedge End station accessibility: more talk and photo ops but no progress. I’m sure he’ll continue the fight to jump the station accessibility funding queue if we elect him to the new Hamble Valley constituency. (Spoiler alert for the missing annual review: this isn’t his first station accessibility campaign!)

Constituents

Paul’s MO on social media has long been insulting and blocking constituents to shut down debate, and this year was no different. Hilariously, and with no sign of any self-awareness, he recently complained about being blocked by someone else! 🤣

“Sorry Christine I’m blocked by Liz as she hates debate and doesn’t like standing up against her party and their disastrous local record.”

Paul Holmes, Twitter/X, 12th December 2023

Liz Jarvis is the Lib Dem parliamentary candidate for Eastleigh and while I would personally rather politicians didn’t block people, I can understand why someone would choose to block Paul based on his fairly unpleasant use of social media. Paul will be campaigning for the new Hamble Valley constituency in the upcoming general election, not Eastleigh, so I’m not entirely sure why he appears to be so threatened by her. Perhaps because she does actually stand up against her local party, disagreeing with them on the airport extension and Solent freeport …according to Paul Holmes. 🤦‍♂️

When I asked what people wanted to know in an annual review, the most common requests were for attendance in parliament, votes, number of local surgeries, number of cases handled etc. Unfortunately MPs are not obliged to publish any information at all as far as I can tell but there are some clues.

Paul has a government job (currently PPS to Michael Gove after stepping down as Conservative Vice Chairman earlier in the year) so he has more incentive than a normal backbench MP to attend parliament and vote how he’s told to and, as his parliamentary page shows, Paul does turn up, vote, and deliver the government’s lines to take.

We cannot know Paul’s exact attendance record but we do know that it was much better than other MPs, like Nadine Dorries. We’re used to Paul arguing with constituents on social media but this year he made the news for a social media spat with the former culture secretary Nadine Dorries.

“Unlike you Nadine I work my seat, I work hard for them, and haven’t been AWOL for months and then pretend it has nothing to do with me.”

Paul Holmes, Twitter/X, 21st October 2023

More interestingly it led to the claim that Paul was gifted his Eastleigh seat, which rings true in the context of questions of integrity and fairness conducting his selection for the new Hamble Valley seat.

“He won it because he was as given it after mims stepped down for a safer one. I was literally in the room for the conversations”

Ems Barr, Twitter/X, 22nd October 2023

There are no publicly verifiable records of how many constituents contact Paul, or what the end result is, but Pauĺ claims to work very hard and while not everyone is happy, he continues to get generally favourable reviews.

“You are just deluded. 20000 cases all completed on time and a strong team. As I said before I can’t wait until I no longer represent you. Such an unpleasant man.”

Paul Holmes, Twitter/X, 29th December 2023

It’s not clear whether that’s 20,000 cases this year or since he was elected, and from a previous review around 5% are about pot holes, but Paul’s strong team includes the very pleasant Daniel Sydenham.

Paul suspended his senior parliamentary assistant to conduct an investigation after reports surfaced that Daniel featured in a Halloween video dressed as Jimmy Savile. That’s in stark contrast to Paul’s usual preference for keeping the accused in their job while waiting for a completed report before expressing any views. Maybe that’s just his approach for Conservative leaders though. Either way, I haven’t seen any outcome of the investigation and Daniel’s LinkedIn profile still shows him as Paul’s senior assistant.

If you have a problem… if no one else can help… and if you can find him at his out of town Conservative club office, or one of his sporadic street surgeries… maybe you can ask for Paul’s help. Paul’s next job could be in Citizens Advice, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Conclusion

I don’t think there were any big surprises this year. We’ve got to know Paul pretty well since 2019 and he’s fairly typical of that New Conservative/Boris Johnson intake of MPs. There’s very likely to be a general election in 2024, so look out for any more inadvertent terminological inexactitudes in the upcoming campaign.

Biggest achievement: securing himself the slightly safer Hamble Valley seat for the next election.

Biggest disappointment: lying in parliament.

And finally, how does Paul feel about how everything is going?

“More and more lately, I have utter despair at coming into work and this party”

Paul Holmes, via WhatsApp

He has my sympathy,— if only there was some way we could help. (Register to vote now, and then apply for a postal vote, and then vote tactically!!)

As with Paul’s 2020 and 2021 reviews, these are just my personal observations. You may have other examples of times Paul has done well, or things he could do to improve. If you have, please leave a comment below!

No-code LaMetric CheerLights with MQTT

A while ago I wrote a CheerLights app for the LaMetric clock, except that you can’t actually really write apps for it,— you just define a sort of catalogue entry for somewhere the clock is going to fetch data from, or in the case of the CheerLights app, the clock gets notified of updates. The actual code needs to run on a server somewhere. Unfortunately the first couple of free cloud compute options I used for running the little app to subscribe to the CheerLights MQTT topic have gone away, and the current server got stopped for not doing enough a while ago!

Fortunately I don’t need to find a new home for the CheerLights server because LaMetric finally implemented an eight year old request to support MQTT, and it actually works very nicely indeed!

Screenshot of the icons screen in My Data DIY

MQTT support was added to the My Data DIY LaMetric app and, even better, it comes with no-code capabilities which means you don’t need a server anywhere to massage the data into the usual LaMetric format!

Unfortunately it doesn’t look like it’s possible to export, import, or share My Data DIY configuration but to add your own CheerLights app, these are the settings you need.

Type: MQTT Channel

MQTT Config

Host: mqtt.cheerlights.com

Port: 1883

Use TLS: off

Topic: cheerlights

Data Format: Any (JSON or XML)

Frames

Name: CheerLights

Frame Type: Data

Text: {#}

That’s all you should need to display the CheerLights colour names. You can also add different icons that depend on the data received, unfortunately you can only have a maximum of 10 conditional icons which seems really stingy to me. There are, for example, 11 supported CheerLights colours! Fortunately the My Data DIY lets you have one more default icon, which is just enough to cover all 11 CheerLights colours!

The CheerLightsRed icon rule in My Data DIY

For example, the icon rule for red has these settings.

Icon: CheerLightsRed

Field: {#}

Function: Equals(==)

Value: red

There are predefined icons for all the colours from the old CheerLights app, and you just need to use the default icon for the final colour.

Now I just need to work out what to with the old app. It’s definitely easier to install instead of all the configuration required for the My Data DIY app, but it needs a new home for the server again. On the other hand, it definitely wouldn’t be worth keeping around if there was a simple way to share My Data DIY settings.

Paul Holmes Annual Review 2020/21

I’m slightly embarrassed about how late this annual review is! It’s been languishing in my drafts for longer than some PMs have lasted in Downing Street! Before getting started, here are just a few reactions to Paul’s previous annual review way back in 2020:

• “Biased nonsense.” (Paul Holmes)
• “A lot of it’s wrong factually.” (Paul Holmes)
• “I’m saying I think you’re wrong to say it’s well researched” (Paul Holmes)

I guess when Paul said, “you can judge me on my record” he meant in a limited and specific way.

Guarantees

Paul was elected to deliver the Conservative party manifesto and his primary role as Eastleigh’s MP is to vote with the government, which he does extremely loyally …even when that breaks his manifesto commitments and Boris Johnson’s guarantees.

I hope no one believes the 40 new hospital lie anymore, but in 2021 Paul also broke the Conservative promise not to raise the rate of income tax, VAT or National Insurance. That’s not all- he broke the pension triple lock promise, and the promise to spend 0.7% of gross national income on international aid as well.

It might be simpler not to bother with a manifesto at the next election.

Pandemic

It’s difficult to remember everything that happened in 2021 but there is a useful timeline of the pandemic available.

Having been unhappy about public health restrictions before Christmas, Paul suddenly had strong views about the dangers of delivering leaflets after Christmas. Perhaps it wouldn’t have looked quite so blatantly political in the run up to the local elections if Paul had been at all concerned about genuine risks throughout the pandemic. Like Gavin Williamson sending children back to school for a single day at the height of the unnecessarily deadly Omicron wave.

One of Paul’s least helpful contributions was when he asked the Health Secretary if he would instruct GPs to get back to work. Based on another of Paul’s intervention on GP services, I’m not sure he really understands the devastating impact his party is having on the health service.

Other than that, Paul appears to have had relatively little to say on one of the defining events of our age, although he has at least been consistent in urging people to get vaccinated, which is something.

Parliament

It can often seem like Paul is still a local councillor rather than a member of parliament, but this year Paul did something only an MP could: he introduced his own Bill to parliament! Paul is strangely reluctant to use some of the tools available to MPs to highlight important issues but in this case he made use of a Ten Minute Rule Bill to propose changes to the local planning process.

I actually agree with Paul that there is something of a conflict of interest in situations where a local council makes its own planning applications. Unfortunately Paul’s solution appeared to me to make an already opaque process even more opaque and complex. Ten Minute Rule Bills rarely make it as far as an act of Parliament and Paul’s didn’t really stand much chance of success when his government was committed to a policy of “build build build”. Even so, I think this was Paul’s best effort of the year, and better than another Ten Minute Rule Bill which the government did support.

Brexit

Paul was very happy to announce Boris Johnson’s trade deal with the EU on Christmas eve 2020. Frankly it was a bit like panic buying a last minute Christmas present at the petrol station but it was at least better than no deal at all. Even Eastleigh’s local plan got more scrutiny than the Conservative trade deal. Only time will tell whether it’s a good deal or not.

It was a little hard to find the many promised Brexit benefits so soon after Johnson’s skillfully negotiated trade deal but there is one lie that a significant number of people appear to believe: that the UK’s Covid vaccinations could be delivered faster due to Brexit. It is just one of many of Boris Johnson’s lies and I wrote to Paul asking him to uphold the Nolan principles and the Ministerial Code through a vote of no confidence in the Prime Minister.

Unfortunately Paul declined and the vaccination lie started by Johnson lives on even now.

Corruption

A senior Conservative MP was found guilty of corruption in 2021 and Paul Holmes’ unquestioning loyalty to his party led him to collude with the vast majority of Conservative MPs to save Owen Paterson from any punishment.

There really isn’t any excuse for further undermining democracy in this way and, given his weak justifications, I get the sense that Paul at least realises he was in the wrong. I am also absolutely sure he would do the same thing again if he was asked.

Despite some frankly bizarre denials, we also learnt that Paul has his own second job. It’s within the rules, and he’s keen to point out that he has not exercised his share options, but it certainly introduces the potential for a conflict of interest in his campaign to reform planning rules. I hope he’s more transparent about it than Owen Paterson was.

Campaigns

Paul has a various local campaigns, so here’s a quick rundown on his progress this year.

One Horton Heath: Paul frequently complains about house building but, other than his failed attempt to change the law, he doesn’t propose any genuine alternatives. Of all his campaigns, this one seems the most likely to fail.

M27 resurfacing: great news, the resurfacing started in the summer this year! Oh, maybe not, it looks like Paul will get the chance to take credit for this one a few more times.

Airport expansion: one of the few things that Paul agrees with the local council about is that the airport should be allowed to extend their runway. In a climate emergency. Paul’s biggest contribution was a petition, which either means he doesn’t understand the planning process, or he doesn’t care. Not ideal for someone who wants to change the planning process.

“Local opposition or support for a proposal is not in itself a ground for refusing or granting planning permission, unless it is founded upon valid material planning reasons”

Determining a planning application

Hedge End station accessibility: Paul managed to get another opportunity to raise the issue in Parliament. Unfortunately without additional funding or changing the funding criteria, Hedge End station will have to wait it’s turn, but I think Paul knows that. Maybe next year?

Bringing the Great British Railways HQ to Eastleigh: lol, nice distraction, good luck with that!

Constituents

Like last year, Paul gets the most positive feedback for his local constituency casework. For example, helping when Eastleigh residents were left without water for two days.

On the other hand, the most criticism Paul received this year was for his part in the Conservative government’s failure to adequately tackle the problem of dumping raw sewage. Apparently they’re planning to come up with a plan though, so we should all be reassured. (My personal favourite part of Paul’s justification for allowing raw sewage to be released was “I wasn’t going to sign a blank cheque” which isn’t something that has unduly troubled him before or since!)

Paul’s biggest achievement last year was opening a constituency office in the centre of Eastleigh, fulfilling a promise he made to constituents during his election campaign. Sadly his commitment to keeping a town centre office open lasted less than a year. The excuse?

“The company we shared with wanted the space back due to expanding and the other alternatives were too expensive for budgets.”

Paul Holmes

Paul’s use of social media is still problematic. Despite frequently telling people to email him because he doesn’t reply on Twitter, Paul has a tendency to get drawn into unhelpful arguments, where he can be rude to constituents, and even caused something of a pile on to a local councillor. He also falsely accused another constituent of lying. Based on my experience, I doubt he apologised.

Overall, Paul’s record of sharing his views with constituents is patchy. It often takes a lot of pressure before he makes any statement on his website, and there are plenty of issues which he makes no comment on at all. I would love to know what he thinks of the cut to Universal Credit, the murder of Sarah Everard and the Met Police’s response, Priti Patel remaining in post despite breaking the ministerial code, or the bomb joke made by one of his colleagues.

Despite previously being coy about a government career, Paul made it on to the first rung of the ladder this year! His loyalty was rewarded with a job as Priti Patel’s Parliamentary Private Secretary, which was somewhat surprising given he has previously spoken of showing compassion for asylum seekers. It looks like Eastleigh’s constituents will have some competition for Paul’s attention now.

Conclusion

Paul is far from the worst Conservative MP there is but so far he has been too weak to stand up to the lies and corruption which have engulfed his party.

Biggest achievement: first government job as Priti Patel’s Parliamentary Private Secretary.
Biggest disappointment: closing his promised constituency office.

As before, these are just my personal observations about Paul’s year as Eastleigh’s MP in 2021. Being so late, I will have definitely forgotten plenty of examples- what do you think Paul did well, and how do you think he could improve?

Mastodon Monday

Now that Twitter is owned by someone who is clearly not a fit and proper person to be running a social media company, I’ve been thinking about what to do.

The most common alternative I’ve seen mentioned is Mastodon, where I already had a dormant account, so this week I thought I’d try a whole day there instead of on Twitter.

@jtonline@mastodon.me.uk

The last time I’d tried Mastodon was in 2017 and, well, I didn’t have high hopes. This time was a completely different experience.

Partly that was luck- back in 2017 I had picked a server run by James Smith and it’s still going strong, so there was already a community and people I recognised, and I didn’t have to think about where to create an account.

I think it was also partly the kind of people I follow on Twitter- a lot of them had recently created Mastodon accounts I could find and follow. Although it was also great to find people I haven’t seen on Twitter before, having some familiar faces was nice.

Overall it really did remind me of when I first joined Twitter. Back then I tried to keep the number of people I followed to a nice manageable 80… which I appear to have reached already on Mastodon! Oh well!

I’ll definitely be back for another Mastodon Monday so please say hi if you’re trying it out as well!

Party politics

Earlier this month Nicholas Arnold, Margaret Atkinson, Mark Banks, Ben Burcombe-Filer, James Charity, Adrian Cooper, Lisa Crosher, James Foulds, Jeanette Fox, Danny Francis, Jerry Hall, Susan Hall, Patti Hayes, Joy Haythorne, Mike Hughes, Shelagh Lee, Daniel Newcombe, Simon Payne, Gary Phillips, Joan Raistrick, Paul Redding, Albie Slawson, Roger Vivian, Alan Weatherall, and Chris Yates stood as Conservative candidates in the Eastleigh local elections.

As far as I know, only one of them has called for the Prime Minister to go for the Downing Street pandemic parties, and clearly none of them were concerned enough about Johnson’s behaviour to stand as independent candidates.

Eastleigh’s MP, Paul Holmes, a vocal supporter of the Prime Minister, even hosted a campaign visit to Southampton Airport, where Johnson lied about the tax free area only being possible due to leaving the EU.

If none of them had the integrity to challenge their leader’s behaviour when it so clearly breaches the standards expected in public life, how could anyone trust them on local issues? The election results suggest voters didn’t trust them.

Paul in particular has seemed more interested in putting his career, and party leader first, despite the damage being done to his party and the country.

“I understand your concerns about recent distractions from the good work the Government has been trying to do. I am disappointed that certain mistakes have damaged people’s confidence in our ability to deliver on the really important issues which affect all our daily lives.”

He could have done something about the distractions long ago, but chose not to.

“As you will know, the Prime Minister, his wife, and the Chancellor have been fined by the police for breaching lockdown rules by attending a gathering to celebrate his birthday. Like you, I was deeply concerned to read this news, and I will follow further developments closely.”

Rules which the Prime Minister was responsible for. Rules which Johnson repeated urged everyone to follow.

“You may be aware that the House of Commons recently agreed to refer the Prime Minister to the Committee of Privileges to investigate whether he had knowingly misled Parliament. This motion passed without a vote, which means an investigation will now be carried out.”

“As I have said previously, I believe it is vital that people around the country continue to have faith that those in power in our democratic system are held to account, and that they meet the high standards expected of those who hold public office. I would therefore have voted for this investigation if it had come to a vote.”

Wait until Paul finds out that the Prime Minister is changing the rules to thwart parliamentary standards again, just like he did with Owen Paterson!

“However, I remain of the view that all the processes that are underway must be allowed to run their course. The Sue Gray report has not been published and the Metropolitan Police investigation has not concluded.”

Well the Sue Gray report has now been published, and the Metropolitan Police investigation has concluded, so the wait for Paul’s response is finally over!

On the plus side, I am pleasantly surprised that Paul hasn’t followed the example of some Conservative MPs and told us all to move on. He has also resigned from his government position, which should allow him to start holding the government, and the Prime Minister to account…

…except he hasn’t yet. Oddly there isn’t actually any criticism of the Prime Minister in Paul’s statement, and no indication that he thinks Johnson should resign.

“It is distressing to me that this work on your behalf has been tarnished by the toxic culture that seemed to have permeated Number 10.”

It’s as if Number 10 was just ambushed by the toxic culture.

Shed Message System

I’ve been shed working for a few months now and while being away from distractions is a big plus, sometimes you want a distraction. Especially when the distraction is a nice cup of tea!

The first Shed Message System was an old wireless doorbell, which worked but could be somewhat of a surprise on conference calls, so after “accidentally” buying too many Local Bytes smart plugs I upgraded the Shed Message System with an old LED light box. No more loud ringing!

Obviously the only message was “Tea!” which was good, but what if there was cake instead? I wouldn’t want to be ambushed! So a little bit of Home Assistant hacking later, and I now have a selection of messages using an input select helper.

Turning the smart plug (LED sign) on with the big tea button automatically sets the dropdown to “Tea!” (the original and still the best) and turning it off resets the dropdown. So now I just have to check Home Assistant when the sign lights up to get the message and, even more amazingly, someone in the house is daft/lovely enough to make tea and use the Shed Message System!

Paul Holmes’ Statement on Pandemic Parties at the Johnson Residence

At long last Paul Holmes has made a statement in relation to lockdown parties in Downing Street, after reports first emerged towards the end of last year.

“The Prime Minister will be aware that Eastleigh was formed as a railway town and, from producing locomotives and carriages to building gliders for the D-day landings, Eastleigh has a proud railway heritage. Given that pedigree, its excellent transport links and the need to level up the south, does he agree that Eastleigh would make the perfect home for the new headquarters of Great British Railways?”

You might be wondering what that has to do with his views on government parties during the pandemic. The only relevance is that this was Paul’s contribution during Prime Minister’s Questions today, which was dominated by Boris Johnson’s admission that he had in fact attended one of the parties during lockdown after all.

Paul claims that he was merely trying to secure money, jobs and investment for Eastleigh. Even if you believe that he wasn’t just providing friendly cover for the Prime Minister during a difficult PMQs, Paul appears to be appealing to the Prime Minister to influence the new railway headquarters decision when there is meant to be some sort of competition for towns to submit bids. That’s an interesting approach on the day that the government’s VIP lane for PPE contracts was found to be unlawful.

Interestingly Paul had previously suggested to the Deputy Chief Whip that the competition should be cancelled in favour of Eastleigh. He also said this in that debate:

“I did notice, however, that I still have not received a Christmas card from him—[Interruption.] which is shocking. No doubt—I ask him to comment—that is an indication of my standing in his little black book in the Whips Office.”

I don’t think Paul need worry about his standing with the whips after today!

Anyway, I assume Paul will eventually stop ignoring the issue and actually make a statement. I’ll add a link, or the text, here when he does.

Update: Paul Holmes’ actual statement!

Paul finally got around to posting a statement on his website today!

“I know many constituents have contacted me about the recent revelations regarding events in Downing Street.

First and foremost, I want to make it clear that I have not attended any parties in Downing Street myself.”

It’s telling that he starts by clarifying that he wasn’t at the parties. He knows it was wrong.

“The reports we have all seen in the news are deeply disappointing.  Not only do I understand your anger and frustration about the reported parties in Downing Street, I share that anger and frustration.”

The Prime Minister said he understood the anger back in December last year: “May I begin by saying that I understand and share the anger up and down the country at seeing No. 10 staff seeming to make light of lockdown measures?” We had to wait a very long time to hear something similar from Paul.

“These reports raise serious questions about the conduct of people working in Downing Street and like you, I want answers to these questions. I believe Sue Gray’s report will address these points. While I welcome the Prime Minister’s apology, I also believe he needs to address these concerns.”

Paul seems to be playing his part in Operation Save Big Dog already, deflecting blame from the Prime Minister to “people working in Downing Street”. Classy.

Paul was so slow writing his statement that the likely outcome of Sue Gray’s report has already leaked and is not expected to find evidence of criminality! Ultimately Sue Gray’s investigation is not what it’s being advertised to be.

While I welcome Paul’s statement, it’s too little too late.

“Fundamentally, there is no excuse for those who make the rules, to break the rules. Those found to be doing so should be disciplined and face the consequences, with no exceptions.”

Well Paul, over to you. Or did you mean no exceptions except for the Conservative Prime Minister?

Update: Paul’s update!

Paul has updated his email template since Sue Gray’s update.

“I appreciate and understand the ongoing anger and frustration around these matters, and I remain clear that anyone found to have broken the rules must face the consequences of their actions.”

It’s already clear that the Prime Minister repeatedly breaks the ministerial code, and has done so since before it was revealed that he broke his own lockdown law. It’s also clear that Paul isn’t interested in those rules, and doesn’t expect the Prime Minister to face any consequences.

Worse, Johnson appears to be lying in Parliament even more regularly than usual in a desperate attempt to cling on to power, and has now even sunk to repeating far-right conspiracies to score political points.

“I have said that I will make a further statement when Sue Gray’s report is published. Given the concurrent police investigation, it has not yet been possible for her to release her full report, which is why only a limited update has been published so far. I look forward to the full report in due course, as well as the outcome of the police investigation, and I will make a further statement then as promised.”

Instead of distancing himself from even the worst of the Prime Minister’s false allegations, Paul is still content to stick to Johnson’s “wait for the report/wait for the police investigation” script.

It’s worth reading Sue Gray’s limited update. The full report should be interesting if the Prime Minister actually ever publishes it.

“I understand that many are calling for decisions to be taken now, but I have always been of the view that the full facts must be known in a case before a judgement can be made. However, I want to assure you that I continue to take this matter extremely seriously as your MP, and that I have heard and taken on board your views and have made them clear to the Prime Minister and Number 10.”

The facts are that Boris Johnson is a liar, and Paul Holmes still has confidence in him.

Update: Paul Holmes’ statement (radio edit)

Paul has clarified his position further during an interview on the T&G Times Radio show (from 1h54m on 13th February 2022):

“I fully support the Prime Minister. He’s getting on with the job.”

“I have every confidence that he will be able to deliver going into the next election.”

His enthusiastic support was somewhat unexpected after he had initially claimed he was angry, but said that we should wait for the result of the police investigation.

Paul Holmes’ Statement on Owen Paterson

It’s not immediately obvious that Eastleigh’s MP Paul Holmes even made a Statement on Owen Paterson because it’s tucked away in a dark corner of his website.

It seems appropriate to revisit his statement given that today’s North Shropshire by-election was only possible because he and the vast majority of Conservative MPs supported the government’s attempt to thwart the Parliamentary standards process. Let’s have a look…

“I do not support the lobbying activities that Owen Paterson undertook while working as an MP for two companies that he acts as a paid consultant for. This is expressly forbidden in the rules and it is right that he is punished.”

I think most people agree. I also think most MPs agree. I’m fairly certain most Conservative MPs, like Paul, would now publicly claim they agree as well.

I’m inclined to believe them, which makes it even more inexcusable that they allowed the motion to suspended Owen Paterson, who had been found guilty of corruption, for 30 days to be hijacked by the government.

Instead of passing the motion to suspended Owen Paterson, the motion was amended to politicise the standards process. Conservative MPs were told to support the amendment, whether they liked it or not, and the amendment passed.

“I did not vote for the ‘Leadsom Amendment’ which would have stopped Owen Paterson being punished”

It’s true that Paul did not vote for the amendment which did stop Owen Paterson being punished but he doesn’t say why.

Paul has a government job as PPS to Priti Patel. Angela Richardson lost a similar job for defying the government whip but, as far as I know, Paul did not lose his job. The most likely explanation is that he did not rebel; he just didn’t vote for some reason that was acceptable to the government.

“I did vote for a review into the Standards Regime which was encompassed in the second vote.”

Basically he just voted for the motion which was now to rip up the standards process instead of suspending Owen Paterson.

The alternative was for Paul to lose his PPS job, and it’s even possible that Eastleigh would have been punished as well, which would be even more appalling than Owen Paterson’s behaviour.

“I am pleased that the Government has now changed its mind and is proceeding with a review into the standards regime but in a more cross-party and collaborative way.”

I hope the review will look at why ministers like Priti Patel can break the rules and escape without punishment

The review also needs to examine the Ministerial Code and the conduct of the Prime Minister, as highlighted by Dawn Brent.

Finally, Paul makes some statements about his own employment…

“For the record, being the Member of Parliament for Eastleigh is the only job that I have and am remunerated for.”

He does also have a job as a PPS in addition to his constituency role, but that is unpaid.

“I do not have a second job and I do not earn any money from any paid consultancies.  This is reflected in my own register of interests which is a matter of public record.”

This one is a bit more puzzling because, well, that is not what is reflected in the public record!

15 hours per month for share options in the “Employment and earnings” section sounds like a second job to me!

He has since revealed more details of his second job on twitter…

“It’s a judging role for a fund to build housing for key workers and NHS workers”

The share options are a £5 discount on the listed share price of £5.50 per share.

Conservative MPs, including Paul, created this scandal themselves, but it’s telling who their anger was reserved for: not the person who broke the rules (Owen Paterson), or the one who tried to rewrite the rules (Boris Johnson).

No, apparently in a WhatsApp message to a group of new Tory MPs, Paul called Chope a “selfish twat” for not allowing the government to make the scandal go away without even a debate in Parliament.

I agree with Theresa May’s remarks in the debate which Chope was so selfish for forcing on Parliament:

“The attempt by honourable and right honourable members of this House, aided and abetted by the Government, under cover of reform of the process, effectively to clear his [Paterson’s] name, was misplaced, ill-judged and just plain wrong.”

Paul’s contribution to a more recent debate on Johnson’s (lack of) standards was even less impressive than his WhatsApp outburst…

“As a new Member of Parliament, Madam Deputy Speaker, I need to ask your advice. Is it acceptable in the House to use the word “liar”, and to accuse a Member of lying?”

He seems more interested in covering for the Prime Minister’s lies than having a debate on improving standards in public life. Ironically Paul seems to have missed the start of the debate where the usual rules that protect the Conservative leader from proper scrutiny had been suspended.

Perhaps he was too busy with one of his other jobs?

Paul Holmes asks Health Secretary if he will instruct GPs to get back to work

On the 14th September Paul Holmes insinuated that GPs in Eastleigh haven’t been working

may I emphasise to the Secretary of State the amount of anger there is in Eastleigh about not being able to get a face-to-face appointment with a GP? He stood at the Dispatch Box and encouraged GPs to get back to work. If necessary, and if that uptake has not happened, will he instruct them to get back to work, so we can at least have face-to-face appointments for my constituents?

https://www.theyworkforyou.com/debates/?id=2021-09-14c.809.0&s=speaker%3A25808#g829.4

He referred to the pandemic easing when he publicised his question on social media, and talks about returning to normal on his website. Unfortunately this complacency, when deaths are still averaging 1,000 per week and cases are rising alarmingly in schools, is likely to prolong Covid related issues getting face-to-face appointments. Surgeries and schools are not getting the investment they need to improve ventilation and control the virus, and the government seem to have all but abandoned proportionate public health measures to keep cases down going in to winter.

Three days after Paul’s question in Parliament, four members of staff were injured in an attack on GP surgery in Manchester. The BMA said,

The narrative that GPs are refusing to see patients face-to-face is dangerous and inaccurate and it has to stop. We call on the health secretary to speak up openly and unequivocally in support of general practice…

https://twitter.com/TheBMA/status/1440236346434482184?s=19

Paul hasn’t issued an apology publicly but has apparently said this on an Eastleigh social media group,

Let me make clear from the start that I respect and thank our GPs for the work they do. I am the first to admit that I was called near to last in that statement after two colleagues raised the same issue. I wasn’t expecting to be called and had to quickly speak. It was unwise to say get back to work. I should have said get back to physical appointments more quickly, and I apologise for the implication of the question.

That seems like a pretty weak excuse to me and, while any apology is obviously welcome, it certainly doesn’t go far enough to counter the narrative that GPs are refusing to see patients face-to-face. They are seeing patients, and have been throughout the pandemic. He should be apologising in Parliament and asking the health secretary to condemn the scapegoating of GPs rather than reinforcing the myth that they aren’t working.

It’s also somewhat misleading to just blame the pandemic for the lack of access to GPs. Thanks to the Conservative party, it has been difficult to get appointments for a long time. My own GP practice has had issues and had to merge with other GP practices to survive. While Paul complains about practices merging as if it’s nothing to do with his government, I’d rather they merged than closed completely.

Somewhat strangely for an MP in the ruling party, Paul is apparently campaigning for better access to NHS services. He shouldn’t be campaigning, he should be demanding to know why his government is failing to deliver. The prime minister personally guaranteed 50,000 more GP appointments in the 2019 general election. They would help. Having fuel to get to appointments would also be useful.

Perhaps the 6,000 new doctors are just like the 50,000 new nurses, or the 40 new hospitals. Just another broken promise from Paul and his party. Just keep blaming someone else for the problems.

Election season

It’s definitely election season again. The first clue was the local MP dusting off his campaign against local housing. I feel fairly certain all the local parties will be campaigning to protect our green spaces but only one party I know of thought filming a campaign video in the middle of the third national lockdown constituted a reasonable excuse to leave home.

Talking of the pandemic, the Conservative Government have got a lot wrong as they repeatedly failed to control the virus and save lives. In fact we are at the relax lockdown restrictions too early phase of the UK Covid19 groundhog day. Soon to be followed by the Eat Out to Help the Virus Out reboot. Not to mention the “why aren’t you all back in the office?” accusations in June. While the NHS is doing an amazing job rolling out the first dose of vaccines, it’s worrying that those vaccines seem to be giving everyone a false sense of security. Let’s hope we’re not just creating the perfect conditions for a world-beating vaccine resistant UK Covid variant.

Anyway, despite all that, one thing the government hasn’t been accused of mishandling through the pandemic was not being tough enough on leaflet deliveries. Not introducing effective quarantine has been mentioned. PPE has been mentioned a lot. Why won’t they stop people delivering takeaway leaflets not so much. Strange then that election leaflets should be such a hot topic of debate in Eastleigh political circles. Is it just Eastleigh?

As you might imagine from the party which unlawfully shut down Parliament, the Conservatives decided that campaigning for an election which is allegedly safe enough to go ahead, is allegedly unlawful. What’s less obvious is why other parties would go along with the idea that a volunteer delivering an election leaflet is tantamount to germ warfare, whereas it would be totally fine for the same person to deliver the same leaflet if they were getting paid. Bonkers.

Now I’m not the biggest fan of election leaflets, and I do think it would be nice to have a more balanced local council, but I’d rather see more debate over what measures are being put in place to allow schools to reopen safely on 8th March, rather than repeating the Conservative’s blatant misuse of lockdown regulations without question.

TL;DR elections are coming!

• Make sure you register to vote!
• Knowing how badly the Conservatives are managing the pandemic, it might also be a good idea to register for a postal vote!
• Find out about the candidates on Who Can I Vote For?
• If you want to know more, ask the local candidates a question!